1. |
The Deep End of Your Bed
03:25
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No sleep in the deep end of your bed
The only place I ever get to swim
I can’t touch and my arms have said too much
The more you move the more you kill the mood
I’m waterlogged
And sinking fast
But wet at last
Then I land at the bottom of the pool
On a pile of watches talking about you
They open up the floor and I just stand there with no story
Bubbling sorries into bed sheets I don’t know
There’s never anywhere for me to dry off
Why bother if you’re going to get back in?
Maybe I should float above the covers
And maybe learn to sleep when I don’t swim
There’s no love for the one who seeks no love
Or the one whose cheek would rather go untouched
So I drain the bed, open up and clear my head
Dry off and throw my towel to the wind
I’m still waterlogged
But rising fast
And dry at last
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2. |
Arrangements
04:15
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Think of it as one less day
That’s exactly what June would say
So how many roses
And how would you like to pay?
Just let your heart be your guide
Junebug would say when someone died
Everyone loves a baby’s breath
Pick them up any time before 5
I don’t have time to be sick
Juney would say instead of sit with it
She’d get a peony and shout “might as well piss on me”
And that’s why we don’t ship to the clinic
Now think of it as one less day
That’s exactly what I would say
So how many roses
And how would you like me to pay?
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3. |
LYL
03:23
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Love you like a dream-locked thunderstorm
Or the wet hug of open season needing
Love you like a doctor in a waiting room
Once the smiles fade and we both ask
What’s wrong?
Love you like a sandbank memory
Or the dry heave of weakness in the morning
Love you like a surgeon on the table
Once the lights dim and everything is stable
What’s wrong?
Love you like the leak up in my ceiling
Dripping me into my mouth until the evening
Love you like two nurses at the fountain
Once they turn and sigh their way back up the mountain
What’s wrong?
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4. |
Fly Again Tomorrow
03:11
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You say that your back
Hurts more than ever before
And I know that it must be the sky
Snoring dealt with
But mornings, nobody spoke until breakfast
Then you’re back up to bed
Like the space shuttle one last time
I’ve never seen someone
So calmly re-enter their 60’s
Without burning up
The ship on it’s own doesn’t retire
Because you’ve got a license that never expires
And I know that it must be the sky
Because you will fly again tomorrow
And I’ll be laid upon the hood of my you
will fly again tomorrow
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5. |
Fishing
06:41
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Glittering kites on a dead day
Only wear my jewels at home now
Living in a shell between two paths
The warehouse and blood on a billboard
Someone’s lighting songs in the basement
Waking up with smoke in my head
I remember when I used to be funny
Waking up in the deep end of your bed
I’m music now
We always pick the saddest moments
To eat the sweetest things
And it’s a blessing to have your vision
Because the mind’s eye truly stings
You don’t know which part of me is sacred
And I don’t know which part of you is scared
Now that you cannot see me
Maybe you should spare the rod
Now’s no time to go fishing
Now’s no time for God
You could never love me in the daylight
And I could only love you in the wind
Has no one ever told us that we’re deadly?
Well, we’re deadly
Because no one ever told us just what love is.
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6. |
The King of No Castle
03:56
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I thought I gave John my phone
Because I wanted people to know
But now I just wish
I knew where he was
We used to talk about the Leafs
Before I knew I didn’t have to
So then we talked about our moms
He is forever beautiful
My longest hugs were with John
A servant in the arms of love
How cold is a world
Who betrays its warmest son?
Long live the King of no castle
He is forever beautiful
King John please call me back
King John please call me back soon
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7. |
Delaware
05:56
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I can see my death from here
In the house that I could never find that New Years Eve
The hell I beat, those swollen feet and the fakers fee
There’s love up here in the thinning air on Delaware
I can see my death from here
That broken rib, thy busted chin, those loaded grins, I’m gone again
Chaos reigns when you bunk with pain and you never change
But it’s clear up here in the loving air on Delaware
Raise your hand if you feel that you are real
The angels flew me home to you that much is true
And this New Years Eve I cried for Steve and set him free
You have to dance with your death, to feel your breath
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8. |
Visions of Love
02:27
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Never meant to move mountains in
Never meant to wake up as one
Never meant to be angry all the time
Never meant to wear fear
Never meant to wear all of the things that you wear
Never meant to be naked if at all
And now
Never mentioned the loneliness
Never mentioned the doors I’ve slammed
Never mentioned the shame and the shame of my shame
Never met you at all with all of me
Never met you in clothes that I now call my own
Never met you until I swept beneath the bed
And kicked up all the dust
Inhaled a vision of love
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9. |
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Way out in the lake there is a place where I can’t touch
And though I’ve always loved to swim that was always wet enough
Everything’s distorted when you see it from above
But clarity will follow thee
because opening your eyes beneath well that’s love
Don’t ask me how the water is
Just listen to me swim
Keep my towel in the sun
Try to love my wrinkled skin
I could tread until I’m dead and still I wouldn’t know
The gift of drowning calls to me and when it does I slow
We are in the water we are in the undertow
Just stay with it don’t counterfeit and never let it go
Don’t ask me how the water is
Just listen to me swim
Keep my towel in the sun
Try to love my wrinkled skin
Drink the lake and drown the ache
And give yourself a break
It’s all learning how to stay
It’s all learning how to say
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10. |
Where My Head Is Going
01:25
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I don’t know where my head is going
I don’t know where my chest belongs
All I can do is keep not knowing
All I can love are in these songs
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11. |
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It feels wrong to grieve a gift
But we cried down by the fire pit
Thirty summers of good health
And I only wish that I could have helped
Well at least she has some money now
And pictures of it all anyhow
Sure it’s great to have the memories
Just scatter me along Crowe River please
We used to chase her car
When she went into town
Now it all feels so far
One last swim across the birth canal
Try a smile on for good morale
Throw my towel to the wind to fold
And give my soul back to the orioles
My brother saw my face through the screen
And he asked me if it was raining
I’m all already here
But promise to scatter me along Crowe River please
Then we got in the car
And didn’t need the mirror
To see that she was running
Our mother and our tears
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12. |
Flooded
03:15
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All of my life was fog
Now that it’s gone I’m gone
I kept the clock and the compass
But never read either
Now I feel too eager
Choking on visions of pain
or maybe love
I kept that water in my mouth
But never remembered how
To drink it and keep it down
There’s a place in my heart that feels flooded
But my stomach is rumbling with dryness
And I’ll tell you my biggest fear
It’s listening to only that which you can hear
So how many roses
And how close will you draw near?
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13. |
Remind Me of Angels
03:15
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How long will heaven wait
For this version of me
To live for better things
And listen for golden wings
How long?
I need an answer
But I know there isn’t
So make me an offer I can’t refuse
Remind me of angels
And shelter my patience
Just make me an offer where I don’t have to choose
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14. |
Stranger to My Own Heart
04:08
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Guess my climate’s changing too
Feeling hell-fed and melted
You are the water you desire to be held under
Drowning takes work
If I could go then I would go
If I could know then I would know
If I could swim this long, why not swim this long?
Drowning takes work
Now you’ve heard me sing
Now you’ve seen the pain
Now you ask me what’s to gain?
That’s up to you
And I try to sing with truth
But all that I can do is simply ask one thing of you
Please listen to love now
Drowning takes work
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15. |
Listen to Love Now
04:19
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When you find yourself alone
(I am corrupted)
Do you think you’re on your own?
(I am beloved)
What you know is where you go
(Under the water)
And where you go is what you know
(Life at the altar)
I’ve been on the run so long
(Please hear this hunger)
I don’t even know myself
(Take a number)
So if you find yourself alone
(Listen to love now)
Find a self you’d like to know
(Please listen to love now)
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