1. |
Just Beyond the Door
08:00
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I wonder how sad they thought I was
well I was, but awestruck as well
sometimes they just look the same
and sometimes they cast the same spell
now I’m lost beneath the autumn and crying in the park
trying not to wonder where you are
I knew this would happen and I knew this would sting
but I didn’t know that I would finally learn a couple things
everything is magic
until it gets too close
that’s when I turn into that old ghost
and maybe that’s why I don’t leave my post
and maybe that’s the reason why my hands are always cold
handprints on the window
footprints on the floor
keep thinking that you’re just beyond the door
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2. |
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don’t arrive in costume please
put that funny gun back up your sleeve
why can’t you just be really me
used to leave the pills beside the sink
to warn each other of some missing link
time never hits the floor without a drink
the cabinet’s mostly bare now that I think of it
sunset doesn’t feel the way it used to feel
the gun’s beneath the bed frame but the bullet’s at my heels
shadows darting from room to room
panic creeping in and out of view
everything came true but me and you
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3. |
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back to screaming at stuff
can’t recommend it enough
curse this backlog of emotional labour
and god bless my neighbours
at least half of the time
I feel guilty for being alive
curse the body and its corruptible data
and god bless my neighbours
said I wasn’t depressed
had half a mind to bomb the whole test
curse that code in me that longs for devastation
and god bless my neighbours
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4. |
I Know
03:36
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I know I know I know
those footprints in the snow
that smell left on my coat
I know I know I know
I know I know I know
I know just what I stole
a whole new far away from whole
I know I know I know
I know I know I know
but this punishment seems cold
to only ever feel so-so
I know I know I know
please, I just want to come back home
if I ever had a home
will I ever have a home?
don't know don't know don't know
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5. |
Excuses
03:06
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once I:
catch up on sleep
can hear myself think
make a few lists
work through my shit
fill in the holes
let it all go
surrender to love
shut the fuck up
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6. |
Red Brick Flutes
04:35
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you don't talk about the future
and you don't talk about the past
everything you say is going nowhere fast
the skeletons are rising quickly
and you can see them from the tracks
harmonicas made out of dirty concrete that just stare right back
you don't seem to get it
and you don't seem to have it either
how do I keep losing you to the ether?
way out beyond the city
the wind picks up a little tune
blowing over chimneys like red brick flutes
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7. |
Etched in Sound
04:05
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heard you’ve seen my dad around
I’ve been dreaming of the old life
when my name was etched in sound
with no baggage under my eyes
now I’m almost out of space
won’t be getting any mail soon
to be honest that’s okay
got a lot of re-reading to do
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8. |
October Sunburn
03:59
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they said
“the leaves have never been more beautiful, scientifically”
something about how
“it’s been cold and bright enough to go out with a bang”
got caught staring at a family mausoleum
missing mine and yours
finally a squirrel broke me out of the trance
and sent me home with an October sunburn
tried to read the tissues like tea leaves but felt cheated
when no wisdom came from crying
they say it makes for much more space
if that’s what I said I wanted now—I would be lying
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9. |
Salami
03:58
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Salami was a gift
but a fish from god is more than just a fish
sure I watched him eat his own shit
when it looks just like your food
it’s always hard to tell the difference
then eight months later
built up speed and rammed his head against the fish tank
over and over and over and over
sometimes I wish I had his memory
but it didn’t save him so forget about me
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10. |
In the Meadow
03:08
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in the meadow we lie in gold
in the meadow we don’t get old
in the meadow nobody knows what nobody knows
in the meadow we dine on doves
in the meadow we fall in and out of love
in the meadow we’ve got problems you’ve never heard of
in the meadow we place bets on who will get here next
next time you’re out in the sun you’ll see the gleam
and the next time you’re caught in the rain you better dance
because the next time it could be a flood
and then you would be stuck with us
in the meadow
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11. |
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where does cowardice go when it stirs up
and out from the holes that it’s born in
algae in the water I ran from
ivy from what I ran into—I’m poison
next time you see me it might take a while
to hear you through the dust I’ve been wearing around
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